How I work
/Therapy shaped around safety, capacity, and deeper change
My work is relational, trauma-informed, body-aware, and formulation-led.
This means I do not usually begin with a fixed technique or a single explanation for what is happening. Instead, we take time to understand your experience carefully and to consider what kind of help may be most appropriate.
Some people come with a clear sense of what they want to work on. Others arrive knowing only that something feels wrong, overwhelming, stuck, or difficult to manage.
Both are valid starting points.
Therapy does not need to begin with a complete story. It can begin with what is happening now: anxiety, shutdown, overwhelm, dissociation, relationship difficulties, exhaustion, self-criticism, or a sense that something in you keeps reacting before you can choose differently.
The aim is not simply to understand patterns, but to create the conditions for meaningful and lasting change.
Safety, pacing, and consent
Careful therapy begins with attention to safety, pacing, and consent.
This is especially important where trauma, dissociation, shutdown, overwhelm, or nervous-system strain are part of the picture.
I do not assume that the most helpful route is to go quickly into painful material. Sometimes the first task is to help life feel more manageable, to understand what activates your system, and to build enough steadiness for deeper work to become possible.
Pacing is not avoidance.
It is part of working safely and effectively, so that therapy does not overwhelm the very system it is trying to help.
In practice, this means we pay attention to:
what feels manageable
what feels too much
what helps you stay present
what supports regulation and steadiness
what needs more time before it can be approached directly
The work remains collaborative. We keep noticing what helps, what does not, and what may need to be adjusted.
Formulation-led therapy
I work in a formulation-led way.
This means that therapy is guided by a careful understanding of your history, present difficulties, triggers, protective responses, relationships, and capacity.
Rather than fitting you into one fixed method, we develop a shared understanding of what may be happening and what kind of support should come first.
This may include:
making sense of recurring patterns
understanding how stress or trauma affects your nervous system
noticing relationship dynamics that keep repeating
identifying protective strategies such as withdrawal, people-pleasing, over-control, shutdown, or avoidance
considering whether the work needs to begin with stabilisation, deeper processing, relational work, neurofeedback, or a combination of these
A good formulation gives therapy direction without making it rigid.
It helps us keep asking: what are we working on, why this focus now, and what seems to be changing?
Relational work
The therapeutic relationship is central to how I work.
Many difficulties are not only held in thoughts or symptoms. They also show up in relationship: in trust, closeness, distance, shame, fear of criticism, fear of dependency, withdrawal, people-pleasing, or feeling responsible for others.
Therapy offers a steady relationship in which these patterns can be noticed, understood, and gradually met differently.
This does not mean forcing emotional exposure or making the relationship artificially intense. It means paying careful attention to what happens between us, especially where old patterns may become active.
The relationship becomes part of the work, not just the setting for it.
Body-aware and nervous-system-informed therapy
Insight matters, but understanding alone is not always enough.
Some responses happen before there is time to think. The body may brace, freeze, shut down, scan for danger, collapse, or move into anxiety even when the mind knows the present situation is different.
A body-aware approach pays attention to these responses without forcing them to change.
We may notice:
tension, bracing, collapse, or numbness
changes in breathing, energy, attention, or voice
shutdown, fog, panic, or disconnection
the body’s sense of safety or threat
what helps your system orient, settle, or stay present
This can be especially relevant when trauma, chronic stress, dissociation, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm are part of what brings you to therapy.
The aim is not to control the body, but to help the system recover more choice, steadiness, and flexibility.
Stabilisation and deeper work
Some people are ready to begin deeper emotional or trauma-related work relatively soon.
For others, the first phase needs to focus on stabilisation, regulation, sleep, relational safety, or reducing overwhelm.
Both routes can be meaningful.
Stabilisation may include understanding triggers, strengthening resources, improving day-to-day regulation, working with shutdown or hyperarousal, and developing more capacity to stay present.
Deeper work may involve trauma processing, relational patterns, shame, grief, protective responses, parts of the self, or early experiences that continue to shape present-day reactions.
These phases are not always separate. Therapy often moves back and forth between understanding, stabilisation, processing, integration, and review.
Deeper work is most useful when there is enough capacity to stay with what emerges.
Approaches I integrate
My primary training is in Relational Transactional Analysis, and my work is also informed by trauma, attachment, the body, and the nervous system.
Where appropriate, I may draw on:
Deep Brain Reorienting
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
parts-informed work
EMDR-informed understanding
relational and developmental perspectives
ILF neurofeedback
These approaches are not applied as a fixed formula.
They sit within one relational, trauma-informed process, shaped around your history, needs, and capacity.
For a fuller explanation of the approaches I integrate, you can read more here:
Approaches I integrate in therapy ›
ILF neurofeedback
For some people, ILF neurofeedback can be a helpful adjunct to psychotherapy.
It may be considered where sleep, overwhelm, shutdown, emotional reactivity, brain fog, fatigue, or difficulty settling are making daily life, or therapy itself, harder to manage.
I do not suggest neurofeedback automatically. The question is always what seems most clinically appropriate at this stage.
ILF neurofeedback is offered in person only in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire.
You can read more here:
How therapy begins
The first step is usually a free 20-minute consultation.
This gives us a chance to talk briefly about what brings you here, what you are hoping might change, and whether my way of working may be a good fit.
If we decide to begin, the early sessions are used to understand what is troubling you, how it affects your life, what may be maintaining it, and what kind of support may be most helpful.
You do not need to know in advance which kind of therapy you need.
For a fuller overview of the first steps, see:
This way of working may suit you if
This approach may be helpful if:
you have insight, but still feel stuck
your body reacts even when your mind understands
anxiety, shutdown, overwhelm, or dissociation affect daily life
relationship patterns keep repeating
previous therapy helped, but did not fully reach the deeper pattern
you are looking for therapy that is careful, relational, and paced
you want depth rather than quick advice alone
It may not be the right level of support if you are currently in acute crisis, need emergency help, or require intensive support beyond what weekly therapy can provide.
If you are unsure, we can think about this together during an initial consultation.
Practical information
Sessions are available in person in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire, and online.
I work with adults, couples, and therapists seeking clinical supervision.
For current fees and practical arrangements, please see:
For common questions about starting therapy and what to expect, you may also find the FAQ helpful.
If this feels like the right kind of work
You do not need to have everything clear before making contact.
A free 20-minute consultation gives us a chance to talk briefly about what feels difficult and whether this way of working may be appropriate.
There is no pressure to continue.
Related pages
Getting started ›
A first place to orient yourself if you are unsure where to begin.
Individual therapy ›
For anxiety, overwhelm, shutdown, self-criticism, trauma, dissociation, and recurring relational patterns.
Trauma therapy ›
For trauma, chronic stress, hypervigilance, shutdown, dissociation, and nervous-system responses that still feel active now.
ILF neurofeedback ›
In-person nervous-system regulation training, used alongside psychotherapy where appropriate.
Fees ›
For current fees, session lengths, and practical arrangements.
Contact ›
To arrange a free 20-minute consultation.