Frequently asked questions
Common questions about therapy and ILF neurofeedback, answered simply and clearly.
You do not need to have everything worked out before getting in touch. These questions are here to give you a straightforward sense of what to expect.
About therapy
How do I know if therapy is right for me?
There is no single answer to this. Many people come to therapy when something feels persistently difficult — anxiety that does not settle, patterns that keep repeating, a sense of disconnection, or a feeling that understanding alone has not been enough to shift things.
If you are unsure, a free 20-minute consultation is a good place to start. We can talk about what feels difficult and whether this approach seems like a good fit — with no pressure to continue.
Do I need a referral?
No. You are welcome to get in touch directly. I also welcome referrals from GPs, psychiatrists, and other professionals, but a referral is not required.
What is the difference between counselling and psychotherapy?
In practice, the boundary between counselling and psychotherapy is often less clear than the terms suggest. Psychotherapy tends to involve a deeper and longer exploration of patterns, history, and underlying experience — including how earlier relationships and experiences shape the way we respond now. My work is psychotherapeutic in nature, though the pace and depth always depend on what feels right for you.
How long does therapy take?
This varies considerably and depends on what you are bringing, what you are hoping for, and how the work unfolds. Some people find that a focused period of work — a few months — is enough. Others find that longer-term therapy is what allows deeper and more lasting change. I do not work to a fixed number of sessions, and we would review how things are going as we go.
What happens in the first session?
During the first session, we use the time to begin understanding what has brought you to therapy, what feels most difficult, and what you are hoping for. I may ask some questions about your history and current situation, but there is no fixed format — the pace is led by what feels manageable for you. It is also an opportunity to get a sense of whether working together feels like a good fit.
What if I am not sure what I want from therapy?
That is a very common starting point. Many people arrive knowing something feels difficult but without a clear sense of what they are looking for. That uncertainty is something we can explore together — you do not need to have it worked out before we begin.
Can I try a few sessions before committing?
Yes. There is no requirement to commit to a fixed number of sessions upfront. Many people find it helpful to begin and then decide as they go whether to continue. We would review how things are going as the work develops.
What if I have had therapy before and it didn't help?
Previous experience of therapy that felt unhelpful — or that helped only so far — is worth talking about. Sometimes a different approach, a different relational dynamic, or work that includes more than talking can reach something that earlier therapy did not.
My work draws on a range of therapeutic approaches, including Relational Transactional Analysis, Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR), Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, EMDR, parts-informed work, and, where appropriate, ILF neurofeedback. That breadth can help when one way of working has not quite reached what is needed. The aim is not to apply techniques for their own sake, but to find a way of working that genuinely fits you.
It is not a reason to give up on therapy; it may be useful information about what you need.
Do I have to talk about my past?
No — not in a direct or pressured way. Understanding the past can be part of the work, and often is, but the pace and depth of that exploration is always shaped by what feels manageable for you. Some people find that talking about earlier experience comes naturally; others find it more useful to begin with what is happening now. Both are valid starting points.
Where appropriate, some body-based work can happen with only minimal access to narrative. In other words, we do not always need detailed verbal accounts for meaningful therapeutic work to begin.
What if I find it hard to talk about certain things?
That is not unusual, and it is not an obstacle. Difficulty talking about something is often itself meaningful — it may reflect protection, shame, or the limits of what feels safe to put into words. We would not push past that.
Words can matter, but they are not always the whole story. Sometimes what has been lived through is held less as a clear narrative and more in the body, in emotional reactions, or in the nervous system, and often manifests itself in repeated ineffective relational patterns. Part of the work can be helping those deeper patterns begin to shift, even before everything can be fully spoken.
Part of the work is creating enough safety for things to become speakable at their own pace.
How will I know if therapy is working?
Change in therapy is not always dramatic or immediate. Early signs are often quieter — a little more space before a familiar reaction takes over, slightly better sleep, feeling less alone with something difficult, or a growing capacity to notice what is happening inside rather than simply being overtaken by it.
Change is rarely linear. Some parts of the work may move more quickly than others, and there can be periods that feel slower or more stirred before something settles.
Where difficulties are more developmental in nature — for example attachment wounds or early trauma — healing often takes longer. These patterns usually formed over time, and they often need time for change to become more deeply established.
We would talk about how things are going as the work develops, so there is always an opportunity to reflect on whether it feels useful.
What if things feel worse before they feel better?
This can happen, and it is worth knowing about in advance. Sometimes beginning to look at things that have been pushed aside, or entering into a new relational space, can temporarily stir things up. This does not mean therapy is going wrong.
Part of my role is to help make sense of what is happening, so that these experiences feel less confusing or alarming. Psychoeducation can be an important part of the work, especially when it helps you understand how your nervous system responds under stress.
Learning how to recognise and support regulation is often equally important. When therapy can take place on steadier nervous-system ground, deeper work is usually more manageable and more useful. For some people, adjunctive ILF neurofeedback can also support regulation and stability where that seems clinically helpful.
If things do feel stirred up, we would talk about it, adjust the pace where needed, and make sure the work remains as grounded and workable as possible.
How often will we meet?
Most individual clients meet weekly. Couple clients typically meet either weekly for 50 minutes or fortnightly for 80 minutes. Frequency is something we discuss at the start and can revisit as the work develops — though consistency tends to support the process, especially in the earlier stages.
Can I switch between in-person and online?
Occasionally, yes. In general, I encourage a reasonably consistent format where possible, as the setting forms part of the therapeutic space.
Where it is feasible, meeting in person can offer something important. Sharing the same physical room often gives more support to the development of the therapeutic relationship and can make it easier to notice what is happening emotionally, physically, and relationally.
That said, online video therapy can also be deeply effective, especially once a good therapeutic relationship is established. In some cases, building that relationship online can take a little longer, but meaningful and substantial work can still happen there.
ILF neurofeedback requires attendance in person.
Where flexibility is needed for practical reasons, we can discuss it together.
What if I need to pause or take a break from therapy?
This is worth talking about openly when it comes up. Sometimes a break is the right thing; sometimes what prompts the thought of a break is itself worth exploring.
There are times when the wish to pause appears just as the work is moving closer to something important, difficult, or more emotionally alive. That does not mean a break is wrong, but it is something worth thinking about in the light of the process as well as the practical circumstances.
Either way, it is not something to manage alone — it is something to bring into the room.
Is what I say confidential?
Yes. Everything discussed in therapy is treated as confidential.
There are some important limits to this. The main exceptions are situations where there is a serious concern about safety — yours or someone else’s — or where I am legally required to disclose information. These situations are rare, and where it is safe to do so, I would always aim to discuss any concerns with you directly before taking any action.
As part of good clinical practice, I may also discuss aspects of my work in clinical supervision. This is a normal and important part of psychotherapy, helping me reflect carefully, work responsibly, and maintain the quality of the therapy. Where this happens, only the details necessary to think about the therapeutic work are shared.
Full details are set out in the Administrative Agreement, which I share before we begin.
What does trauma-informed mean in practice?
Trauma-informed means that the work is shaped around an understanding of how trauma, chronic stress, and early relational experience affect the nervous system, the body, and the ways we relate to ourselves and others. In practice, it means paying attention not only to what you understand consciously, but also to what shows up emotionally, physically, and relationally — and always working at a pace that feels safe enough for the system to stay with.
Do I need to have experienced trauma to work with you?
No. Many people I work with do not identify as having experienced trauma in an obvious sense. Difficulties with anxiety, low mood, self-criticism, relationship patterns, or a persistent sense that something is not quite right can all be valid reasons to seek therapy — regardless of whether they are linked to identifiable traumatic events.
It is also common for people not to think of earlier experiences in terms of their deeper impact. Something may have seemed normal at the time, or may not look especially dramatic from the outside, and still have left a lasting mark on how safe, settled, or connected a person feels. What matters is not only what happened, but what your mind, body, and nervous system had to do in response.
What is the difference between your approach and CBT?
CBT tends to focus on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviours, often within a structured, time-limited framework. My approach is relational and longer-term — it attends not only to thoughts, but also to emotional experience, the body, relational patterns, and the nervous system. Rather than working toward specific behavioural targets, the aim is deeper understanding and more lasting change. If you are looking for a structured, short-term approach, I am happy to help you think about what might suit you better.
How do you decide which approach to use?
There is no fixed formula. The way I work is shaped around your particular history, patterns, needs, and capacity — what clinicians call formulation-led. This means we think together about what seems most likely to help, and the approach evolves as the work develops. Some people need more stabilisation before deeper work becomes possible; others are ready to go deeper sooner. The work is always responsive to you rather than fitted to a predetermined plan.
About ILF neurofeedback
Is neurofeedback safe?
Neurofeedback is non-invasive and generally well tolerated.
Does neurofeedback put anything in my brain?
No. The sensors only read brain activity. They do not deliver electrical stimulation.
Will I feel anything during training?
Many people feel neutral or calmer during training. Some first notice changes in sleep, emotional steadiness, or how easily they recover after stress.
How quickly will I notice changes?
Some people notice early shifts. For others, changes build more gradually across sessions. The first signs are often things like better sleep, less reactivity, or a greater sense of ease in daily life.
Can I do neurofeedback alongside psychotherapy or medication?
Usually, yes. Neurofeedback can often be used alongside psychotherapy and, where relevant, medication.
What is ILF neurofeedback?
ILF (Infra-Low Frequency) neurofeedback supports nervous-system regulation using very slow training frequencies.
What can ILF neurofeedback help with?
It may support difficulties such as sleep disruption, fatigue, or brain fog; anxiety, chronic stress, and hypervigilance; trauma-related overwhelm, emotional reactivity, shutdown, or dissociation; and concentration difficulties and reduced day-to-day resilience. These difficulties often overlap. The overall aim is improved regulation and quality of life.
Can ILF neurofeedback help with trauma symptoms?
Many people use ILF neurofeedback to support stabilisation — for example, better sleep, reduced overwhelm, and improved regulation — which can make trauma-focused psychotherapy easier to tolerate. It may be especially helpful when your system remains highly reactive or easily overwhelmed.
Is ILF the same as "traditional" neurofeedback?
Not exactly. ILF training focuses especially on regulation and stability using infra-low frequencies.
How many sessions should I commit to?
This varies. Many people get a clearer sense of fit and direction after the first few sessions. We review as we go, rather than pushing ahead mechanically.
Do you offer online neurofeedback?
No. Neurofeedback requires in-person attendance.
Do I need a diagnosis to do neurofeedback?
No. Many people come because of symptoms and quality-of-life concerns, rather than a formal diagnosis.
When might ILF need more careful consideration?
If you have a history of seizures, epilepsy, or other significant neurological instability, we would think carefully together about suitability.
Can I do neurofeedback as a standalone service?
I usually offer neurofeedback as part of an individual therapeutic plan, and it is often most effective alongside psychotherapy. At times, psychotherapy on its own may be the better starting point.
How do I get started?
Book a free 20-minute consultation so we can clarify your goals, relevant history, what you have already tried, and whether neurofeedback seems like a good fit.
If you have further questions
If something is not covered here, you are very welcome to book a free 20-minute consultation. We can talk through any questions about therapy, ILF neurofeedback, fees, or where it may make most sense to begin.
If it seems helpful, we can also use that space to think together about whether this way of working feels like the right fit.
There is no pressure to continue.