How do I know if therapy is right for me?

There is no single answer to this. Many people come to therapy when something feels persistently difficult — anxiety that does not settle, patterns that keep repeating, a sense of disconnection, or a feeling that understanding alone has not been enough to shift things.

If you are unsure, a free 20-minute consultation is a good place to start. We can talk about what feels difficult and whether this approach seems like a good fit, with no pressure to continue.

Do I need a referral?

No. You are welcome to get in touch directly. I also welcome referrals from GPs, psychiatrists, and other professionals, but a referral is not required.

Where do sessions take place?

I offer therapy in person in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire, and online by video.

In-person sessions may suit you if you are looking for psychotherapy in Reading or the surrounding Berkshire area. Online sessions are available if you prefer to meet remotely, live further away, travel regularly, or need a more flexible way of attending.

ILF neurofeedback is available in person only, as it uses specialist equipment in the room.

What happens in the first session?

The first session is a chance to begin understanding what has brought you to therapy, what feels most difficult, and what you are hoping for. I may ask some questions about your history and current situation, but there is no fixed format — the pace is shaped by what feels manageable for you.

It is also an opportunity to get a sense of whether working together feels like a good fit.

What if I am not sure what I want from therapy?

That is a very common starting point. Many people arrive knowing that something feels difficult, but without a clear sense of what they are looking for. That uncertainty is something we can explore together — you do not need to have it worked out before we begin.

Can I try a few sessions before committing?

Yes. There is no requirement to commit to a fixed number of sessions upfront. Many people find it helpful to begin and then decide as they go whether to continue.

We would review how things are going as the work develops.

If you would like a fuller sense of how I work, the pages on Individual psychotherapy, Trauma, and Approaches I integrate in therapymay also be helpful.

What is the difference between counselling and psychotherapy?

In practice, the boundary between counselling and psychotherapy is often less clear than the terms suggest. Psychotherapy tends to involve a deeper and longer exploration of patterns, history, and underlying experience — including how earlier relationships and experiences shape the way we respond now.

My work is psychotherapeutic in nature, though the pace and depth always depend on what feels right for you.

What does trauma-informed mean in practice?

Trauma-informed means that the work is shaped around an understanding of how trauma, chronic stress, and early relational experience affect the nervous system, the body, and the ways we relate to ourselves and others.

In practice, it means paying attention not only to what you understand consciously, but also to what shows up emotionally, physically, and relationally — and always working at a pace that feels safe enough for the system to stay with.

Do I need to have experienced trauma to work with you?

No. Many people I work with do not identify as having experienced trauma in an obvious sense. Difficulties with anxiety, low mood, self-criticism, relationship patterns, or a persistent sense that something is not quite right can all be valid reasons to seek therapy, regardless of whether they are linked to identifiable traumatic events.

It is also common for people not to think of earlier experiences in terms of their deeper impact. Something may have seemed normal at the time, or may not look especially dramatic from the outside, and still have left a lasting mark on how safe, settled, or connected a person feels.

What matters is not only what happened, but what your mind, body, and nervous system had to do in response.

What is the difference between your approach and CBT?

CBT tends to focus on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviours, often within a structured, time-limited framework. My approach is relational, trauma-informed, and often longer-term. It attends not only to thoughts, but also to emotional experience, the body, relational patterns, and the nervous system.

Rather than focusing mainly on specific behavioural targets, the aim is deeper understanding and more lasting change. If you are looking for a structured, short-term approach, I am happy to help you think about what might suit you better.

How do you decide which approach to use?

There is no fixed formula. The way I work is shaped around your particular history, patterns, needs, and capacity — what clinicians often describe as formulation-led.

This means we think together about what seems most likely to help, and the approach evolves as the work develops. Some people need more stabilisation before deeper work becomes possible. Others are ready to go deeper sooner. The work is always responsive to you rather than fitted to a predetermined plan.

If you would like a clearer sense of the approaches I integrate and how they fit together, you can read more here: Approaches I integrate in therapy ›

How long does therapy take?

This varies considerably and depends on what you are bringing, what you are hoping for, and how the work unfolds. Some people find that a focused period of work — a few months — is enough. Others find that longer-term therapy is what allows deeper and more lasting change.

I do not work to a fixed number of sessions, and we would review how things are going as we go.

Do I have to talk about my past?

No — not in a direct or pressured way. Understanding the past can be part of the work, and often is, but the pace and depth of that exploration is always shaped by what feels manageable for you.

Some people find that talking about earlier experience comes naturally. Others find it more useful to begin with what is happening now. Both are valid starting points.

Where appropriate, some body-based work can happen with only minimal access to narrative. In other words, we do not always need detailed verbal accounts for meaningful therapeutic work to begin.

What if I find it hard to talk about certain things?

That is not unusual, and it is not an obstacle. Difficulty talking about something is often meaningful in itself — it may reflect protection, shame, or the limits of what feels safe to put into words. We would not push past that.

Words matter, but they are not always the whole story. Sometimes what has been lived through is held less as a clear narrative and more in the body, in emotional reactions, or in repeated relational patterns. Part of the work can be helping those deeper patterns begin to shift, even before everything can be fully spoken.

Part of the work is creating enough safety for things to become speakable at their own pace.

What if I have had therapy before and it did not help?

Previous experience of therapy that felt unhelpful — or that helped only so far — is worth talking about. Sometimes a different approach, a different relational dynamic, or work that includes more than talking can reach something earlier therapy did not.

My work draws on a range of therapeutic approaches, including Relational Transactional Analysis, Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR), Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, EMDR-informed work, parts-informed work, and, where appropriate, ILF neurofeedback. The aim is not to apply techniques for their own sake, but to find a way of working that genuinely fits you.

If you would like a clearer sense of the approaches I integrate and how they fit together, you can read more here: Approaches I integrate in therapy ›

It is not a reason to give up on therapy. It may be useful information about what you need.

How will I know if therapy is working?

Change in therapy is not always dramatic or immediate. Early signs are often quieter — a little more space before a familiar reaction takes over, slightly better sleep, feeling less alone with something difficult, or a growing capacity to notice what is happening inside rather than simply being overtaken by it.

Change is rarely linear. Some parts of the work may move more quickly than others, and there can be periods that feel slower or more stirred before something settles.

Where difficulties are more developmental in nature — for example, attachment wounds or early trauma — healing often takes longer. These patterns usually formed over time, and they often need time for change to become more deeply established.

We would talk about how things are going as the work develops, so there is always an opportunity to reflect on whether it feels useful.

What if things feel worse before they feel better?

This can happen, and it is worth knowing about in advance. Sometimes beginning to look at things that have been pushed aside, or entering into a new relational space, can temporarily stir things up. This does not mean therapy is going wrong.

Part of my role is to help make sense of what is happening, so these experiences feel less confusing or alarming. Psychoeducation can be an important part of the work, especially when it helps you understand how your nervous system responds under stress.

Learning how to recognise and support regulation is often equally important. When therapy can take place on steadier nervous-system ground, deeper work is usually more manageable and more useful. For some people, ILF neurofeedback may also support regulation and stability where that seems clinically helpful.

If things do feel stirred up, we would talk about it, adjust the pace where needed, and make sure the work remains as grounded and workable as possible.

Can therapy help if I feel emotionally shut down, numb, or collapsed?

Yes, although the work needs to be carefully paced. Emotional shutdown, numbness, brain fog, or feeling “offline” can be protective responses when the system has had to manage too much for too long.

Therapy is not about forcing feelings open or pushing quickly into painful material. It is about helping your system feel safe enough to reconnect gradually, with more steadiness, choice, and capacity.

Some people appear to be functioning outwardly while internally feeling depleted, unavailable, or close to collapse. We can begin with what is happening now, without needing to force a full explanation straight away.

How often will we meet?

Most individual clients meet weekly. Couple clients also usually meet weekly, though session format and frequency can be discussed according to what best supports the work.

Frequency is something we discuss at the start and can revisit as the work develops, though consistency tends to support the process, especially in the earlier stages.

Can I switch between in-person and online?

Occasionally, yes. In general, I encourage a reasonably consistent format where possible, as the setting forms part of the therapeutic space.

Where it is feasible, meeting in person can offer something important. Sharing the same physical room often gives more support to the development of the therapeutic relationship and can make it easier to notice what is happening emotionally, physically, and relationally.

That said, online video therapy can also be deeply effective, especially once a good therapeutic relationship is established. In some cases, building that relationship online can take a little longer, but meaningful and substantial work can still happen there.

ILF neurofeedback requires attendance in person.

Where flexibility is needed for practical reasons, we can discuss it together.

What if I need to pause or take a break from therapy?

This is worth talking about openly when it comes up. Sometimes a break is the right thing. Sometimes what prompts the thought of a break is itself worth exploring.

There are times when the wish to pause appears just as the work is moving closer to something important, difficult, or more emotionally alive. That does not mean a break is wrong, but it is something worth thinking about in the light of the process as well as the practical circumstances.

Either way, it is not something to manage alone — it is something to bring into the room.

Is what I say confidential?

Yes. Everything discussed in therapy is treated as confidential.

There are some important limits to this. The main exceptions are situations where there is a serious concern about safety — yours or someone else’s — or where I am legally required to disclose information. These situations are rare, and where it is safe to do so, I would always aim to discuss any concerns with you directly before taking any action.

As part of good clinical practice, I may also discuss aspects of my work in clinical supervision. This is a normal and important part of psychotherapy, helping me reflect carefully, work responsibly, and maintain the quality of the therapy. Where this happens, only the details necessary to think about the therapeutic work are shared.

Full details are set out in the Administrative Agreement, which I share before we begin.

What is ILF neurofeedback?

ILF (Infra-Low Frequency) neurofeedback supports nervous-system regulation using very slow training frequencies.

I use ILF neurofeedback within my psychotherapy practice and have completed formal training in frequency-based neurofeedback. I am also working towards Othmer certification, which further supports the careful and individually tailored use of ILF within a therapeutic process.

Where does ILF neurofeedback take place?

ILF neurofeedback is available in person only at my practice in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire.

It cannot be offered online because it uses specialist equipment in the room, including sensors that read brain activity during the session.

If you are also interested in psychotherapy, this may take place either in person or online by video, but the neurofeedback element itself requires in-person attendance.

Is neurofeedback safe?

Neurofeedback is non-invasive and generally well tolerated.

Does neurofeedback put anything into my brain?

No. The sensors only read brain activity. They do not deliver electrical stimulation.

What can ILF neurofeedback help with?

It may support difficulties such as sleep disruption, fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, chronic stress, hypervigilance, trauma-related overwhelm, emotional reactivity, shutdown, dissociation, concentration difficulties, and reduced day-to-day resilience.

These difficulties often overlap. The overall aim is improved regulation and quality of life.

Can ILF neurofeedback help with trauma symptoms?

Many people use ILF neurofeedback to support stabilisation — for example, better sleep, reduced overwhelm, and improved regulation — which can make trauma-focused psychotherapy easier to tolerate. It may be especially helpful when your system remains highly reactive or easily overwhelmed.

Can I do neurofeedback as a standalone service?

I usually offer ILF neurofeedback within an ongoing psychotherapeutic process. Where someone is already working with another psychotherapist, psychiatrist, or relevant clinician, I may also offer neurofeedback alongside that work, where this seems clinically appropriate and there is enough clarity about how the process will be held.

The question is not simply whether neurofeedback can be offered on its own, but whether there is enough therapeutic holding around the process for it to be used safely and helpfully.

If you would like a clearer sense of how ILF neurofeedback sits alongside the other approaches I integrate, you can read more here: Approaches I integrate in therapy ›

Is ILF the same as other forms of neurofeedback?

Not exactly. ILF neurofeedback focuses especially on regulation and stability using infra-low frequencies. Other forms of neurofeedback work differently and may be used for different aims.

I have also completed formal training in frequency-based neurofeedback, which complements my ILF training and supports a more informed, individually tailored use of neurofeedback within therapy.

Will I feel anything during training?

Many people feel neutral or calmer during training. Some first notice changes in sleep, emotional steadiness, or how easily they recover after stress.

How quickly will I notice changes?

Some people notice early shifts. For others, changes build more gradually across sessions. The first signs are often things like better sleep, less reactivity, or a greater sense of ease in daily life.

Can I do neurofeedback alongside psychotherapy or medication?

Usually, yes. Neurofeedback can often be used alongside psychotherapy and, where relevant, medication. If you are already in psychotherapy with another therapist, I may in some cases offer neurofeedback alongside that work, provided there is enough clarity and agreement about how the process will be held.

How many sessions should I commit to?

This varies. Many people get a clearer sense of fit and direction after the first few sessions. We review as we go, rather than pushing ahead mechanically.

Do you offer online neurofeedback?

No. Neurofeedback requires in-person attendance.

Do I need a diagnosis to do neurofeedback?

No. Many people come because of symptoms and quality-of-life concerns, rather than a formal diagnosis.

When might ILF need more careful consideration?

If you have a history of seizures, epilepsy, or other significant neurological instability, we would think carefully together about suitability.

How do I get started?

A free 20-minute consultation gives us a chance to clarify your goals, relevant history, what you have already tried, and whether neurofeedback seems like a good fit.