Therapy works best when the relationship is right.

The relationship is the therapy’s most valuable asset — we build it first, and we protect it throughout. Before any method, we focus on building a steady, safe working alliance — so your nervous system can begin to trust the process. Everything else (DBR, somatic work, optional neurofeedback) is in service of that foundation.

If you’re living with anxiety, hypervigilance, shutdown, dissociation, sleep disruption, or relationship difficulties, you’re not alone. Often the mind understands — yet the body keeps reacting as if something is still unsafe.

We’ll work at a pace that feels manageable. We start by building steadiness and capacity, then move into deeper processing when your system is ready.

At the heart of my work is relational trauma psychotherapy — helping you make sense of what happened, while also working with what your body still carries. A core component is Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) (Levels 1–3; DBR-P pathway).

Where clinically appropriate, I may integrate ILF neurofeedback (in person) as an adjunct to support stabilisation and make therapy more workable.

Sessions are available in Shinfield, Reading, and online.

This may be a good fit if you want paced, body-aware trauma work; you’ve done insight work, but symptoms persist; you want therapy that’s relational as well as practical.

If what you need right now is a highly structured, skills-first programme (for example CBT homework every week), I can help you think that through and—if needed—signpost you to a better fit.

If you’d like to explore working together, you’re welcome to book a free 20-minute consultation. We’ll clarify what you’re looking for, answer your questions, and see whether my approach feels like a fit — and, crucially, whether we can build a good working relationship. No pressure.

Find out more: Work with me › About me › Trauma › Help is at hand › Optional: neurofeedback (in-person) ›

What you might be experiencing

People come to see me for many reasons. Often it includes one or more of the following — and if any of these fit, it doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you. It usually means your nervous system has been carrying too much for too long.

• Hypervigilance and anxiety: feeling on edge, scanning, bracing, or unable to relax.

• Panic: sudden surges of fear accompanied by breathlessness, tight chest, racing heart, and dizziness.

• Shutdown / numbness: going flat, frozen, disconnected, or “not really here.”

• Dissociation: feeling unreal, foggy, spaced out, or distant from your body.

• Sleep disruption and fatigue: wired at night, tired in the morning, broken sleep, early waking.

• Brain fog: slower thinking, poor concentration, and memory slips under stress.

• Relationship difficulties: people-pleasing, withdrawal, conflict cycles, difficulty trusting or feeling safe with closeness.

If any of this resonates, we can take it gently — starting with stabilisation, then building from there.

Find out more: Trauma › Help is at hand ›

When insight isn’t enough — and what we do instead

Sometimes you can understand your patterns very well, yet your body still reacts: anxiety, hypervigilance, shutdown, dissociation, sleep disruption, fatigue, or a sense of being constantly under strain. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It often means your nervous system is still running protective responses shaped by past experiences.

In our work, we don’t try to “think” your way out of this. We start by helping your system feel steadier — building stabilisation and capacity so that daily life becomes more workable. As that steadiness develops, we may move into trauma processing in a way that is carefully paced and grounded. Over time, the aim is not only symptom relief, but also post-trauma growth: rebuilding choice, connection, vitality, and a more secure sense of self.

My approach is formulation-led, carefully paced, and tailored to you. We agree a plan, review progress regularly, and adjust as needed. I aim to offer a safe, confidential, non-judgemental, and compassionate space — while staying practical about what helps.

My integrative background includes Transactional Analysis, relational psychotherapy, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, IFS (Internal Family Systems) parts work, EMDR, and Deep Brain Reorienting, among others.

Find out more: Work with me › About me › Trauma › Help is at hand › Optional: neurofeedback (in-person) ›

Optional ILF neurofeedback (in person)

For some people, adding ILF neurofeedback can support stabilisation — especially sleep, arousal regulation, and recovery from long periods of stress. I offer ILF neurofeedback only where clinically appropriate and typically as an adjunct to psychotherapy. Neurofeedback requires in-person attendance.

We keep it carefully paced and review at agreed points (often after 5–10 sessions), adjusting based on sleep, arousal, and overall stability.

Find out more: Optional: neurofeedback (in-person) ›

Other ways of working with me

If it’s relevant, I also offer:

Relationships work (couple psychotherapy/counselling & group psychotherapy) ›

Clinical supervision for counsellors and psychotherapists (qualified or in training) ›

Practicalities

Here are the basics — and if you’re unsure, you can ask in the consultation.

Individuals 16+. Couples or group work by arrangement.

In person (individuals and couples; Shinfield, Reading) and online (individuals, couples, groups; via Zoom).

Short-, medium-, and long-term work available.

Book a complimentary 20-minute consultation

If you’d like to explore working together, you’re welcome to book a free 20-minute consultation. We’ll clarify what you’re looking for, answer your questions, and see whether my approach feels like a fit — and, crucially, whether we can build a good working relationship. No pressure.

T: 07803 049039 • E: paolo@presentingpast.co.uk

Find out more: Words that accompany my work >

Served areas: Based in Shinfield (Reading, United Kingdom). I work locally and online where appropriate (and can discuss practicalities case by case).