Trauma and the nervous system
Trauma is not only about what happened — it is also about how the experience was held in the mind and body, and what the nervous system learned it needed to do to survive.
Sometimes people can understand their history very well, yet still find themselves stuck in patterns of anxiety, shutdown, dissociation, sleep disruption, or relationship difficulties. This can happen when the nervous system is still operating from a survival template.
What trauma can look like (common patterns)
Trauma can show up in many ways, including:
feeling constantly on edge, scanning for danger, or unable to relax
panic, chronic anxiety, irritability, or sudden anger
numbness, shutdown, collapse, “not feeling here”
dissociation (mild to severe), brain fog, difficulty concentrating
sleep disruption, fatigue, burnout
shame, low self-worth, perfectionism, people-pleasing
relationship patterns that repeat despite insight
stress held in the body (tension, headaches/migraines, IBS-type stress patterns)
You don’t need to match a label. We can clarify together what fits your experience.
Different kinds of trauma (brief and practical)
Shock trauma
A single or time-limited event where the nervous system is overwhelmed (e.g., accident, assault, medical trauma).
Developmental or relational trauma
Early experiences that shaped safety, attachment, and identity (e.g., emotional neglect, inconsistent caregiving, chronic criticism, parentification). These can be “quiet” experiences that still leave deep patterns.
Chronic stress and ongoing threat
Long periods of stress, uncertainty, or relational threat can lead the nervous system to stay in survival mode, even once circumstances change.
Intergenerational and systemic factors
Family patterns, culture, and wider systems can influence how safety, emotion, and connection are learned and expressed. Sometimes what looks like “personality” is actually adaptation.
Why it can be hard to recognise trauma
Many people minimise the impact of the past because their ways of coping have felt “normal” for a long time. Survival strategies can be highly effective — until they become restrictive.
Common survival strategies include:
disconnecting from feelings or the body
staying busy or over-functioning
perfectionism and self-criticism
avoiding closeness or relying on control
people-pleasing to reduce conflict
pushing through fatigue until collapse
These are not failures — they are adaptations.
What helps (a steady, paced approach)
With the appropriate support and patience, the nervous system can regain balance and flexibility.
In therapy we usually focus on:
Stabilisation and regulation (capacity first)
Trauma processing when appropriate and tolerable
Integration and growth (more choice, connection, vitality)
Where clinically appropriate, ILF neurofeedback may be used to support regulation and stability and to make therapy more tolerable and effective.
Book a complimentary 20-minute consultation
If you would like to explore working together, you’re welcome to book a free 20-minute consultation.
W: Get in Touch >
T: 07803 049039 • E: paolo@presentingpast.co.uk
Served areas: Based in Shinfield (Reading, The United Kingdom). I typically work locally (around a 15-mile radius) and online where appropriate. Neurofeedback requires in-person attendance.