Couple therapy in Reading and online
When the relationship feels stuck in a familiar pattern
Couple psychotherapy for relationships that feel stuck, strained, distant, or caught in painful repetition.
Sessions are available in person in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire, and online.
Relationship difficulties often affect far more than the relationship itself. They can shape how safe it feels to be close, how easily you can speak honestly, how conflict unfolds, and whether trust, belonging, or repair feel possible.
You may feel distant, misunderstood, guarded, quick to withdraw, quick to pursue, or caught between wanting closeness and needing to protect yourself.
My approach is relational and trauma-informed, with close attention to attachment, emotional regulation, and the patterns people can get pulled into together when connection becomes strained or repair feels difficult.
This may be particularly relevant if you are looking for couples therapy in Reading, Berkshire, or online, or for support with recurring relational patterns.
This may be for you if
You may recognise that:
the same conflict keeps returning without real resolution
one of you pursues while the other withdraws
attempts to speak honestly quickly become tense, defensive, or overwhelming
closeness, intimacy, or trust has become harder to reach
old hurts continue to shape the relationship now
something important between you feels difficult to repair
How couple therapy can help
Couple psychotherapy can help when a relationship feels stuck, strained, distant, fragile, or caught in painful repetition.
Many couples come for support not because they do not care about each other, but because the same tensions keep returning. You may find yourselves having the same argument in different forms, struggling to feel heard, withdrawing from each other, or becoming trapped in cycles of criticism, defensiveness, shutdown, or pursuit.
Even when both people want things to improve, it can be hard to shift a pattern once it has become established between you.
Sessions offer a space to slow the cycle down enough to understand what is happening between you, and to begin exploring what may become possible instead.
A first conversation can help you find a starting point
You do not need to know exactly what the pattern is before getting in touch.
A free 20-minute consultation gives us a chance to talk briefly about what has been happening, what you are hoping for, and whether couple therapy seems like an appropriate place to begin.
What the work focuses on
The focus is not on deciding who is right. It is on understanding the cycle the two of you get pulled into together.
Therapy can help slow that cycle down enough to understand:
what each of you experiences during moments of tension
what triggers defensiveness, shutdown, anger, or withdrawal
what deeper fears, longings, or vulnerabilities may sit underneath the visible conflict
how earlier experiences or attachment patterns may be influencing the present
how to create more room for honesty, listening, boundaries, and repair
The aim is not perfect communication. It is to help the relationship become more understandable, less reactive, and more capable of repair and care.
What may become possible over time
Over time, couple psychotherapy can help both people feel less trapped in the cycle and more able to understand and respond to one another differently.
It may support you to:
identify the cycle you are caught in together
understand each other more clearly beneath the surface argument
reduce blame and increase mutual understanding
communicate with greater clarity
recognise escalation earlier
create more space for vulnerability without overwhelm
strengthen the possibility of repair, trust, and emotional connection
make more thoughtful decisions about the relationship and how to move forward
When old trauma, attachment patterns, or protective responses are triggered between two people, the atmosphere between them can quickly become tense, guarded, or painful. Couple therapy can help slow this process down, so that both people can begin to understand what is happening between them, recognise what may be getting activated underneath, and create more room for care, repair, and safety.
How I work with couples
My way of working is grounded in relationship and informed by trauma, attachment, and the nervous system. This means I pay close attention not only to what is said, but to what happens between you when tension rises, closeness feels difficult, or repair breaks down.
This includes attention to patterns of pursuit, withdrawal, guardedness, overwhelm, reactivity, and shutdown, and to how earlier experiences may still be shaping present moments between you.
The work is paced carefully. The aim is not to force disclosure, intensify blame, or escalate confrontation. It is to help each of you understand more about what happens in the relationship, what each of you may be protecting, and what might help create more steadiness, honesty, and repair.
Where appropriate, the work may include practical attention to communication, boundaries, emotional regulation, and repair. But these are held within a wider relational process, rather than used as techniques in isolation.
If you would like a clearer sense of the wider approaches that inform this way of working, you can read more here:
When couple work may not be the right starting point
This work requires a genuine willingness to engage from both people. It is not mediation, and it is not about establishing who is right.
If one partner is significantly uncertain about whether they want to take part, that is worth a conversation before we begin.
I do not offer couple therapy where there is ongoing domestic abuse, coercive control, intimidation, or fear within the relationship. In those situations, safety comes first, and a different form of support is usually more appropriate.
Practicalities
Sessions are available in person in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire
Online sessions are available via Zoom
Couple sessions are usually 50 minutes weekly or 80 minutes fortnightly, depending on what is clinically appropriate
Fees and session arrangements are available here: Fees & practicalities ›
If you are considering couple therapy
Some couples come with a clear sense of what they want to work on. Others arrive knowing only that something between them feels painful, distant, or difficult to repair.
If relationship difficulties, repeated misunderstandings, distance, or painful relational patterns are part of what brings you here, you are very welcome to book a free 20-minute consultation.
We can talk about what feels most difficult, what you are hoping might become possible, and whether this way of working seems like a good fit.
There is no pressure to continue.