Getting started with therapy
Where would you like to begin?
You do not need to know in advance where to start.
Many people arrive with a general sense that something feels difficult, stuck, overwhelming, or hard to shift. Some know they are looking for individual therapy, trauma therapy, couple therapy, or neurofeedback. Others simply know that life, relationships, or their nervous system no longer feel manageable in the same way.
Sessions are available in person in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire, and online.
Sometimes it is enough to begin with the fact that something needs attention.
This page is here to help you get your bearings. If you would rather think it through together, you are welcome to book a free 20-minute consultation.
Whatever the starting point, the work is relational, trauma-informed, body-aware, and carefully paced.
How we begin
The first contact is usually a free 20-minute consultation.
This gives us a chance to talk briefly about what brings you here, what you are hoping might change, and whether my way of working may be a good fit.
If we decide to begin, the early sessions are used to understand what is troubling you, how it affects your life, what may be maintaining it, and what kind of support may be most helpful.
You do not need to know whether what you are experiencing is “trauma”, or which kind of therapy you need.
Sometimes it is enough to begin with the fact that something in you keeps reacting, closing down, becoming overwhelmed, or repeating a familiar pattern.
Where trauma, shutdown, dissociation, overwhelm, or nervous-system regulation are part of the picture, we do not need to go into traumatic experiences in detail at the beginning. The early work is about understanding the pattern, your current capacity, and what needs to happen first.
The aim is to develop an initial shared formulation, rather than fitting you into one fixed method.
The first stage is not about rushing into painful material. It is about understanding enough to work safely, clearly, and at a pace your system can stay with.
What kind of support may fit?
From the early formulation, we can think together about the most appropriate route into the work.
Individual therapy
For many people, individual therapy is the main starting point.
This may be the right route if you are living with anxiety, low mood, self-criticism, relational difficulties, emotional shutdown, dissociation, or recurring ways of coping that no longer sit easily.
Individual therapy may also be helpful if you are not sure exactly what the difficulty is, but know that something feels hard to shift.
Trauma therapy
If trauma, chronic stress, or nervous-system strain may be part of what you are living with, the Trauma therapy page may be a helpful place to begin.
This can be especially relevant if you experience shutdown, hypervigilance, emotional overwhelm, dissociation, people-pleasing, shame, chronic tension, or a sense that your system is still trying to protect you.
A trauma-informed and body-aware approach can help the work move at a pace your system can stay with.
ILF neurofeedback support
For some people, ILF neurofeedback can be a helpful adjunct to psychotherapy, especially where sleep difficulties, high reactivity, brain fog, overwhelm, fatigue, or difficulty settling are making daily life, or therapy itself, harder to manage.
It is not something I suggest automatically. The question is always what seems most likely to help at this stage, and whether psychotherapy on its own, neurofeedback support, or a combination of both is the best place to begin.
ILF neurofeedback is available in person only in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire.
Couple therapy
Sometimes the main difficulty is not only within one person, but in what happens between people.
Couple therapy may be the clearer starting point if the difficulty is mainly within an intimate relationship, especially where conflict, distance, repeated misunderstandings, emotional withdrawal, or difficulty repairing have become central.
If you recognise the experience more than the category
You may not know whether to begin with individual therapy, trauma therapy, couple therapy, or neurofeedback.
You may simply recognise the experience: anxiety, shutdown, overwhelm, difficulty settling, repeated relational patterns, or the sense that something in you keeps responding as if danger, loss, shame, or pressure are still present.
If that is the case, the What I help with page may be a helpful place to begin. It offers a gentle overview of some of the ways distress can show up emotionally, physically, relationally, and in the nervous system.
This way of working may suit you if
This way of working may be helpful if:
you have insight, but still feel stuck
your body reacts even when your mind understands
anxiety, shutdown, overwhelm, or dissociation affect daily life
relationship patterns keep repeating
previous therapy helped, but did not fully reach the deeper pattern
you are unsure what kind of help you need, but know something needs attention
It may not be the right level of support if you are currently in acute crisis, need emergency help, or require intensive support beyond what weekly therapy can provide.
If you are unsure, we can think about this together during an initial consultation.
Practical note
Sessions are offered in person in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire, and online.
ILF neurofeedback is offered in person only.
Read more
Fees ›
For current fees, session lengths, payment arrangements, and cancellation policy
FAQ ›
If you would like a clearer sense of what to expect, how therapy begins, or how ILF neurofeedback fits within psychotherapy, you may also find the FAQ helpful.
How I work ›
If you would like a fuller sense of the principles that shape my work.
Book a free consultation
You do not need to work this out on your own.
A free 20-minute consultation gives us a chance to talk briefly about what feels difficult, what you hope might become different, and where it may make most sense to begin.
If it does not seem like the right fit, I will be honest and help you think about alternatives.
There is no pressure to continue.