How I work
Therapy shaped around safety, capacity and deeper change
My work pays attention to what happens cognitively, emotionally, physically and relationally, particularly when familiar patterns become active.
I do not begin with a fixed technique or assume there is one explanation for what you are experiencing. We take time to understand what is happening, how it may have developed and what kind of help may be most appropriate.
Some people arrive with a clear focus. Others know only that something feels overwhelming, stuck or difficult to manage.
Both are valid starting points.
Therapy can begin with what is happening now: anxiety, shutdown, dissociation, relationship difficulties, exhaustion, self-criticism or the sense that something in you reacts before you can choose differently.
The aim is not simply to explain your patterns, but to create the conditions in which meaningful change may become possible.
This page explains the principles and therapeutic process that guide my work.
For more detail about the particular therapeutic approaches I may draw on, see Approaches I integrate ›
Safety, pacing and shared formulation
Careful therapy begins with safety, pacing and consent.
This is particularly important when persistent activation, shutdown or dissociation are part of the picture. Moving quickly into painful material is not always the most helpful route.
Pacing is not avoidance.
Sometimes the work initially places greater emphasis on understanding activation or shutdown, making daily life more manageable and developing enough steadiness for difficult material to be considered and approached at a manageable pace.
We pay attention to:
what feels manageable;
what helps you remain present;
what supports regulation;
what can be approached directly;
what needs more preparation or time.
The work is guided by a shared formulation: a developing understanding of your history, present difficulties, relationships, triggers, protective responses, strengths and capacity.
Rather than fitting you into one predetermined method, we consider what kind of support is needed now. This might involve relational work, regulation, body-based therapy, trauma processing, neurodiversity-informed adaptation, neurofeedback or a combination of these.
A formulation provides direction without becoming rigid.
It helps us keep asking:
What are we working on? Why this focus now? What appears to be changing?
How I integrate different approaches
Transactional Analysis provides the central psychotherapeutic framework for my work, held within a relational, attachment-aware and developmental understanding. The therapeutic relationship provides the continuing context in which the work is formulated, paced and reviewed.
Depending on the shared formulation, I may draw on Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Deep Brain Reorienting, parts-informed work and selected EMDR-informed elements. Neurodiversity-informed perspectives may shape formulation, communication and practical adaptations. Neurofeedback may sometimes be considered as an adjunct and is offered in person only.
These are not separate treatment packages, and no one is expected to need every element. The method follows the developing understanding of the person, rather than fitting the person to a predetermined method.
What this can involve in practice
The therapeutic relationship
The therapeutic relationship is central to how I work. Difficulties may appear not only in thoughts or symptoms, but also in patterns involving trust, closeness, distance, shame, withdrawal, dependency or feeling responsible for other people.
Therapy offers a relationship in which these patterns can be noticed and understood. This does not mean making the relationship artificially intense. It means paying careful attention to what happens between us, particularly when familiar expectations or protective responses become active.
When reactions occur before thought
Some reactions occur before there is time to think. The body may brace, freeze, shut down, scan for danger or move into alarm even when the thinking mind recognises that the present situation is different.
A body-aware approach helps us notice these responses without forcing them to change. The aim is not permanent calm or perfect regulation, but greater flexibility, steadiness and choice.
Adapting therapy to the person
Neurodiversity-informed therapy recognises that people differ in how they process information, direct attention, communicate and respond to their environments. Neurodivergence is not something therapy should attempt to remove.
Neurodivergent experience, sensory or executive strain, attachment difficulties, trauma and other forms of distress may coexist. A shared formulation helps us consider how these influences interact without reducing everything either to neurodivergence or to trauma.
Adaptations may include:
making the purpose and structure of therapy clearer;
allowing more time to process questions or emotions;
adjusting conversational pace or expectations around eye contact;
using written, visual or practical material where helpful;
attending to sensory and environmental demands.
Adaptations are developed collaboratively and reviewed as we learn more about what helps.
Stabilisation and deeper work
Some people may be able to approach deeper emotional or trauma-related material relatively soon. For others, therapy may initially place greater emphasis on sleep, daily functioning, regulation, relational safety or reducing overwhelm.
Deeper work may include trauma processing, attachment patterns, shame, grief, internal conflict or interrupted protective responses. Stabilisation and deeper work are not necessarily separate stages: therapy may move between understanding, adaptation, regulation, processing, integration and review.
Difficult material is approached when there is sufficient capacity to remain connected to what emerges and to work at a pace that remains manageable.
What holds the approach together
Whatever methods are used, several principles remain consistent.
Formulation-led, not technique-led
The method follows the understanding of the person. The person is not fitted to the method.
Relational depth with embodied awareness
Thoughts, emotions, bodily experience and relationship are understood as interconnected.
Adaptation to capacity, history and neurotype
The work is paced around the person who is actually present, not an idealised treatment sequence.
More than symptom reduction
Relief from symptoms and distress matters. Therapy may also support greater presence, agency, connection, freedom and integration.
How therapeutic change develops
Therapeutic change does not always mean that an unwanted response simply disappears.
Symptoms may reduce, sometimes substantially. Change may also become visible when familiar reactions become less frequent, less intense or less controlling, and when a wider range of responses becomes available.
This can include changes in bodily tension and regulation, greater awareness of what you are feeling and responding to, more flexible thinking, a greater sense of internal coherence, changes in how you relate to yourself and others, and an increasing capacity to pause, reflect and choose.
Change can also involve becoming more able to trust your own experience, tolerate closeness or positive feelings, recognise when something belongs to the past rather than the present, and make room for curiosity, pleasure, spontaneity and engagement with life.
Older protective responses may still return, particularly during periods of stress. Their return does not necessarily mean that progress has been lost. Change may instead be reflected in noticing what is happening sooner, recovering more readily and having more possibilities available than before.
Sometimes change also involves recognising that a relationship, environment or way of living is harmful, restrictive or no longer workable, rather than simply becoming better able to tolerate it.
Therapy may reopen development, but growth does not occur inside the therapy room alone. It also develops through relationships, choices, activities and experiences in the wider world.
The fuller reflection explores these different dimensions of change in more depth — including bodily bracing and dissociation, changes in the quality of thinking, bringing different parts of yourself together, self-trust, relationships, positive experience, agency and engagement with life.
Explore the full reflection: How therapeutic change develops ›
Review and endings
We periodically review what appears to be changing, what remains difficult and whether the focus, frequency and direction of the work still make sense. This may include considering whether therapy should continue as it is, change focus, reduce in frequency, pause or move towards an ending.
Where possible, endings are planned rather than abrupt. This gives us time to reflect on the work, recognise what has changed, consider anything unfinished and think about how you will support what has developed beyond therapy. The decision to end is discussed collaboratively, and therapy does not need to continue indefinitely.
How therapy begins
The first step is usually a free 20-minute consultation.
This gives us an opportunity to talk briefly about what brings you to therapy, what you hope may change and whether my way of working may be suitable.
You do not need to know which kind of therapy you need.
If we decide to begin, the early sessions help us understand what is troubling you, what may be contributing to it and what form of support may be most appropriate.
This way of working may suit you if
This way of working may be relevant if:
familiar reactions continue despite your efforts to understand or change them;
anxiety, shutdown, overwhelm or dissociation affect daily life;
relationship patterns continue to repeat;
previous therapy was helpful in some respects, while important difficulties remain;
neurodivergence, masking or sensory overload need to be understood alongside relational experience;
you are looking for therapy that is careful, relational and paced;
you want depth rather than advice alone.
It may not provide the right level of support if you are in an acute crisis, need emergency intervention or require intensive support beyond an outpatient psychotherapy practice.
Practical information
Sessions are available:
in person in Shinfield, Reading, Berkshire;
Access note: The Shinfield therapy room currently has no wheelchair access or accessible toilet. Please let me know if you have access requirements before arranging an in-person appointment.
online;
by telephone where appropriate.
If this feels like the right kind of work
If this approach seems relevant, a free 20-minute consultation offers an opportunity to consider whether it may fit your needs.
There is no pressure to continue.